Madeline Claire

I am a great aunt!  My oldest niece, Hannah, just had her baby on November 2 after 50 hours of labor.  She is Super Woman.  It was really kind of interesting because our pregnancies were so similar, even to the doctors deciding to induce Hannah a bit early because of Madeline's small size.  Our labor was very similar too, except that I was blessed with Allyson, 6 lbs 9 oz, after 27 hours of labor, at 11:27 pm.  Hannah had to go a whole day later, at 50 hours of labor to deliver Madeline, 6 lbs 2 oz, at 10:32 pm.  I sympathized with Hannah so much.  An induced labor (when you aren't dilated or anything when you start!) is hugely different from a "natural" labor.  I will NEVER had an induced labor again unless 2 doctors tell me it is necessary for my health or the baby's health.  I know so many people who do it for convenience, and, to be blunt, I think they are crazy.  Anyway.  Madeline is tiny and perfect.  And Hannah is my hero.  Ally is smitten with "Mad-e-wine."  "I loves her so much.  Aw, she's so little and cute and wiggly.  Me want to hold her bottom." 

I was curious to see how I would react seeing Hannah in labor and then getting to hold the baby.  First because it's only been 10 months since I was in the hospital delivering Jacob, and second because I still don't know what I think about having Baby #3.  Since me staying home with the kids still isn't an option, that really throws a wrench into plans for #3.  Things we can work out, but it gets complicated (Can we figure out daycare?  3 car seats don't fit in our cars, which means we need a new car or to wait longer.  But waiting longer means I'll be nearly 35 and Ernest will be over 40, and all the health risks that go with it - after the scare with Jacob and the cysts, I don't know.  And on and on.  Anyway). 

So, I loved cuddling Madeline but I didn't have a problem giving her up to go get fed by her Mumma.  Oh, and those sleepless night and the crying and the juggling multiple kids.  And the figuring out breastfeeding AGAIN.  I love my kids and am enjoying watching them grow up, but I HATE how I feel for the first few months.  I am way dependent on sleep, so when I don't get it I am a mess.  I feel like stopping at 2 is taking the easy way out, so to speak, so I think that is standing in my way of getting an answer about whether we have more little spirits waiting to join our family.  More thinking, planning, and of course praying, is in our future to decide what our family is going to look like.  I'm trying to be patient, but if you haven't noticed it yet, I have a very hard time with that if there's not a plan.  And we are stuck in developing our plan.  Ach..

Well, so Madeline is perfect and sweet and I'm so excited for her and Jacob to become friends. They are exactly 10 months apart.  It's fun to see Jacob walking around and talking, and then to see Madeline and envision that she will be where he is in less than a year!  Crazy how much they grow up in the first few months.