Judge Not? How About "Just Be Nice"

I feel judged.  It's not often that I feel judged, and I don't like it.  I don't know if I'm mainstream enough in my thinking that the opportunity just doesn't come up often, or if I don't share my opinion very often.  This is more of a vent, so if you feel the need to judge based on it, keep it to yourself :)  On the other hand, I welcome friendly discussion and respectful conversation.

Issue 1:  I am choosing to give birth at The New Birth Company.  It's a stand-alone birthing center.  Not a hospital.  I have nothing against hospitals; I just don't want to be in one unless there is a medical reason for it. In my opinion, a healthy pregnancy and baby are not medical reasons to be in a hospital.  Both of my previous births were at a hospital, both with a midwife, and both were satisfactory to me with the circumstances I had to work within.

Pregnancy 1:  Induced.  Hated it.  Possibly was a reason for it, but I wish now I would have asked more questions.  Had an epidural.  While the epidural was heaven during an extended labor (with the help of pitocin), I hated that I had a catheter, couldn't move myself, even to turn over, and the way I felt afterwards.  It was the right decision at the time, but I'd prefer to not do it again.  Oh, and the poking and prodding and blood tests and blood pressure tests, and inspections....  It is impossible to sleep in the hospital, even if the baby is in the nursery.

Pregnancy 2:  Spontaneous labor, though I did have an induction date set 1 week after his due date (which I wasn't happy about, but hey, I thought it was a good idea).  Labored naturally at home and went to the hospital a few hours before baby was born.  Other than complications getting the IV in my before he was born, no issues.  Why did I need an IV again?  Hmm.  I don't know.  I was there about 3 hours before Jacob was born.  Pretty sure that's not enough time to get dehydrated if I started out alright.  Recovery was awesome (2nd baby?  no epidural?  who knows - but it was so much better).  Sat in the hospital FOREVER (it seemed) waiting to be released so I could go home and be with my family.  Minimal sleep, poking prodding, tests, and my poor husband trying to go back and forth between me and the baby at the hospital and my poor 1 year old who's world just got turned upside-down.

Pregnancy 3:  I'm healthy.  Baby is healthy.  Kids are healthy.  Husband is healthy.  Blood pressure is good. Blood tests are good.  No complications are expected at this point.  My primary care physician is aware of my pregnancy and ready for me to see him if the need arises (he does OB stuff too).  If the need arises, I will see a midwife that practices at the hospital, or my PCP who also practices at the hospital.  No big whoop.  I am not choosing a home birth because that is more of a risk (and can you imagine cleanup?)  than I am comfortable with.  A birth center birth seems like the perfect in-between for me - assuming everything stays good.

A few other differences.  The birth center does not do inductions.  They do have pitocin if needed for after birth to stop bleeding.  They do not require IVs or hep-locks, believing that you should be able to stay hydrated during a normal labor.  You can drink water and have a smoothie, and not just a Popsicle, to keep your energy up.  And you will need it, because they also don't do medication for pain management.  Tubs, showers, birth balls, moving around, acupressure, etc. are all encouraged.  You go home within 24 hours of giving birth (average is about 8) assuming that you and baby are doing well.  You have to take their Birth class, because it covers more details about taking care of a baby who is hours old vs one who is a few days old.  They have medications for mom such as for Strep B and other antibiotics.  They are minutes from the hospital and have relationships with 3 hospitals in the area, so if you do need to transfer, even last minute, there are no issues.  You still have access to all of the same tests you would have if you went anywhere else, including sonograms.  They have relationships with perinatologists that you can take advantage of if needed as well.  

Issue 2:  We are not finding out the sex of the baby.  Yes, we want to know.  No, it's not any easier even though we have a boy and a girl already.  If it were up to Ernest, we would know if it's a Little He or a Little She.  But he's being sweet in indulging me.  I think this is my last pregnancy so maybe that plays into it.  Before I was pregnant, I thought I would have a Girl and Two Boys, just like my mom and Ernest's mom had.  Then I got pregnant, and I was thinking it was a girl.  Then, this last weekend I started thinking, "Hmm, maybe it is a boy."  Who knows?  Just the sonogram tech.  Why don't I want to know?  I really am not sure.  Do I need a reason? How about "I'm the Mom and I Said So."

Issue 3:  If it's a boy, I want to make an informed decision about circumcision.  Notice I didn't say that I would or wouldn't.  I don't know.  We haven't even discussed it in detail yet, and there is a lot to consider! As far as I know all of the males in my family have had the procedure (including my husband and son).  This would definitely be different, which is also a big point to discuss.  But the point is that I want to be more educated and made a choice instead of it just being assumed.  Did you know that the U.S., Jews and Muslims lead the world in circumcision rates?  For our fellow earthlings in non-third world, non-Muslim or Jewish countries, it is the exception to be circumcised.  The AAP and WHO can't even decide if you should or shouldn't (if you live outside a 3rd world country, that is - consensus for the WHO seems to be "do it" if you live there).  Bottom line....To snip or not to snip, I want to make an informed decision instead of doing it "just because."

Am I really that controversial?  Or "weird" as I was actually called the other day?

Yes:  I will immunize.  I prefer a less aggressive schedule than some, but my kids will get all of the shots coming to them.

No: I will not cloth diaper.  I admire those that make the choice.  But it's not for me.

Yes:  I will breastfeed.  Boobs are there for a reason, and the milk will come whether I want it to or not.  It's going to get put to good use!

Yes:  I eat McDonald's.  I don't know what's in the meat, and I'm afraid to find out.

Yes:  I'm sure I've eaten food containing GMO.  And I admit I had to look up what that was.

No:  I do not own a gun.  And, shocker, I actually quite like the comparison used about a gun killing the person the same way a car does.  It's generally the idiot behind the trigger/steering wheel, and not the tool itself.

And hey, just for fun.  No:  I do not personally support the homosexual lifestyle.  Yes:  I do support an individuals right to choose, and if that is what they choose, I will not infringe on it.  I will hang on to and represent what I feel is right (religious, political, or otherwise) and believe that God will work it out on the other side.  Thankfully that is not part of my responsibility.

I try to appreciate people as people and not as a label.  I don't care if you had your baby at home, cloth diaper, only eat dead food that fell off of a tree, or have a same sex partner.  Well, I care, but not in a way that will make me ostracize you or tell you to your face (or others behind your back) that you are "weird" or anything else that might make you feel bad.  Thinking back on my sense of humor, I may call you weird actually, but it had better NOT be in a way that makes you uncomfortable or feel bad!

And, I think I'm done.  As an INFP, I hate confrontation and debate.  So your comments better be nice or I'll just delete them :)